Steve and I talked this through later on, and I thought it might help to share that with you – it sorted out all those jumbled thoughts in my head. Hope I’ve remembered this right……
I’d thought maybe I shouldn’t even be thinking about a cig as an option. What really bothered me was the fact that a cig had even come to mind as one of the options to deal with what was going on. IDIDN’T actually want to smoke, it was that extra heavy `need to respond’, maybe, that had brought it to mind. This wasn’t the normal day to day stuff where the new and more appropriate responses kick in automatically. I didn’t have a tool to use to deal with this new situation, so maybe it was inevitable it would happen.
What I understand from this and talking it through with Steve is that it really is `ok’ to think about cigs and is to be expected. Eventually there won’t be any more nicotine associations, but at this stage, months (and for others days and weeks) into a quit, it is going to happen. The important thing is to be aware of the options and choose responsibly.
Hope all of you have a great Thanksgiving – we don’t celebrate it here in the UK but it sounds a wonderful time. Steve tells me he’ll be in a house full of women (around 6 Steve?) including mum and daughters. I suggested he wouldn’t get a word in edgeways – he said he would, the problem was that no-one would be listening to a word he said 
)
It’s Friday 4pm and I’m just home from work. I’ve drunk a cup of tea and
eaten 1/2 a packet of biscuits (seems to be a new habit I’ve started).
I work in a primary school and we have just finished for 1/2 term, that
means I have 9 days (weekends included) to get through before I can go
back to work. Back to the one place that I have never smoked at during
the day,and so have found a’sanctuary’ the past couple of weeks.
Was talking to my friends today about being ‘positive’ and have decided
that one of the reasons I find it hard to be positive about packing in
smoking is that I spend all day at work with the kids being positive!
What ever they do, good, bad or evil we always have to be positive then
point out (in a positive way) more appropriate skills or behavior!
Having spent all my day doing this and controlling my temper and mouth,
when I come home I Just want to say what I think and haven’t got the
strength to look at everything positively.
